i'm sorry...She asked me why today, why I always said no to them, and I could have said I was scared, that maybe I just didn't find the right one, or that they didn't interest me, which all of the above are partly true. However, the real reason I say no is for fear of letting someone down. I'm not as perfect as people to seem to think, and yet somehow my protests of insanity and imperfection are met with compliments completely disregarding my self view. I know myself better than anyone, and I know I would not be a good girlfriend. For one thing, I don't particularly like dating, or romantic interests, I like the poetry of them however. I always my nail polish fade away slowly leaving chips of black on the bitten skin of my fingernails, I dress as I feel and not always flattering, and I have a tendency to be so flighty that my train of thought is rare to catch and barely there. My skin is pale and rarely perfect, my hair gets dirty, and I sometimes don't realize I'm putting on dirty clothes. My voi
The Girl Made of StarsThis boy I met.He has scruffy brown hair, with black at the ends, as if he had dyed his hair once, and just let it grow, I've never asked him if he's died it, but I've sat there and just stared at his hair before, it's quite beautiful.He really is beautiful, he has a feminine tint to him, but his jaw and his eyes make him seem strong.He's feline, yes.He wears these slightly baggy tees that always wrinkle on the right side, and they always seem to make his eyes pop. His clothes always look worn in, and they always look warm and comfortable.He always has chips of nail polish on his nails, and I never see them fully painted, except once, when we were lounging out at McDonalds and I painted his nails, then the very next day they were chipped.It's weird.He wears eyeliner, not very much, but he wears a line around his eye, and he kind of wings it out like a cats.Yes, he's feline.He's tall, but you don't notice it, he has a presence but he doesn't seem overly tall, or overly there, h
My Darling Spider Queen.Because I can.I'm going to scream now.because the sound will chase away the monstersinvading my gardenand then, then they shall seethat I'm going to dreamwithout themso i'm going to screamso I can dreambecause the monsters,the monsters,their in my garden eve,so tell me, tell me, tell this to me my darling spider queenwill you, will you scream? scream will you with me my beauty queen?will you bewill you seewill you, will you,fight them tooth and tailI'm going to scream now, now now, i'm going to scream,darling spider queen,let me dream, let screamlet me fucking dream,my darling beauty queen.I'm going to scream now,to chase the monsters away,away,to make you go away,you, you,you are my monsters,my beauty queen,you are my monsters,you are my evil,you are my everything,so let me sing,sing my scream,my darling spider queen.
That just made me cry.and this is why I like to be alone.So I can cry.Because I like to cry.But the tears will not come.when anyone's around.The tears are afraid of people you see.Their afraid of everyone but me.you see, tears and I go way back,we've comforted each other,we've put each other to sleep,we've been together in the bad times and the good.we've protected each other from bad things.were good friends,tears and me.
The Girl With Hazel Eyes."Murder me?" she begged, "Please!" as her she grabbed at my ankles, sobbing heavily and just repeating almost inaudibly, "Please, please, please!""I can't do that, I..." I couldn't bear this... This... torture. "I love you, I can't kill you" sobering up she raised her gleaming hazel eyes to mine and said in the most calmest voice "You love me? if you love me, you'll do this for me, you'll end this""I can't..." and with that rejection.... she ran out of the cemetery, and down the street, my last image of her being running awkwardly down my favorite street. The kind of street framed with perfect trees, the one with cemetery and the one that connected her old house to mine. Her house was at the end of the street, by the railroad tracks, but as I later found out... she ran past the house, past her parents, past any hope of someone stopping her.I met her in the cemetery, the girl with hazel eyes, those eyes would be something that would forever haunt me, they looked like a tree, with dark